My Vegetative Partner Opened His Eyes in Anger After I Ran Away
Chapter 13 - Your IQ Is Only Good For Transplanting Rice Seedlings!
Chapter 13 - Your IQ Is Only Good For Transplanting Rice Seedlings!
Translator: Callis
Editor: Walker
At 8 o’clock in the evening, Tang Wan was ready to broadcast live. Zong He didn’t know where he had picked the flowers from, but he inserted them in a white vase and sent them to his living room. It looked quite artistic. Tang Wan wondered if the Marshal, a man of iron and steel, knew how to arrange flowers.
Sure enough, Zong He placed the vase on top of Tang Wan’s table. “I have asked someone to buy the simple and elegant flowers.”
Tang Wan understood that Zong He already knew about his flower cutting. “That’s alright, if you can’t stand it then you don’t have to put them on display. I’m not an unreasonable person.”
“You can be a little more unreasonable, I would be ready.” Zong He meant that he would like to see him argue more, because he wanted to spoil him.
Tang Wan touched his slightly heated face. He couldn’t bear the other’s direct attack. “Thank you.”
Zong He nodded. “En.”
Tang Wan was speechless. He had unexpectedly accepted the thanks so calmly, the Marshal really was a confident man. It could be said that he had the temperament of a lord of tigers.
Zong He leaned on the table and gently said to Tang Wan, “When my health improves, I can take you out for a stroll.”
Tang Wan shook his head. “Don’t worry, if I need something, I can go by myself. Actually, I’m normally at home, I don’t go out too often. It’s good to be home and I can shop online. Everything is fine.”
Zong He nodded. “Staying at home often is also good, really commendable. But, we still have to go out every once in a while and do what we want.”
Tang Wan didn’t know why he would be so unexpectedly generous. “Are you not afraid that I’ll run away?”
As soon as he mentioned running away, Zong He smiled bitterly. “I’ll get someone to follow you.”
Tang Wan frowned and asked coldly, “You’re very afraid that I’ll run away?”
Zong He paused, and then left without saying a single word.
Tang Wan looked at the other’s red ears and blinked. Somehow, he felt that the Marshal was a little cute.
At the beginning of the live broadcast, there were a lot of people watching!
Tang Wan released Jin Xiao Pang, and laid the cat’s food bowl on the ground, letting him eat. He took out a pair of scissors and cut the cloth into several strips.
The audience watched both the cat and Tang Wan. The things that Tang Wan made with his hands surprised them every time, but they didn’t know what he was making this time.
“I’m making a small set of clothes for Jin Xiao Pang, and a bow tie for Da Zhuang.” When Tang Wan saw many people questioning him in the comments, he explained with a single sentence.
The comments were muddled: Excuse us, isn’t this the most traditional way to make it? You still need to use scissors? Are you a tailor?
Tang Wan looked at the scissors in his hands and the glue on the table. He laughed, “This is the perfect combination of ancient tailoring techniques and modern science and technology.”
He used glue instead of needle and thread to join things together, so he could just cut and stick it together. Tang Wan only used needle and thread for sewing buttons. After leaving home, he was forced to practice his skills. Sewing pants? He couldn’t do it! A wealthy young man, forced like that, Tang Wan felt that it was incredible.
Tang Wan planned to make Jin Xiao Pang a small set of clothes and a small hat. Under Tang Wan’s hands, piles of cloth was quickly cut into many pieces.
Many people wondered: Could it really be made into clothes? Shouldn’t clothes be made from a whole piece of cloth?
Now, technology could seamlessly fit it together, so the seams and thread couldn’t be seen in any piece of clothing. As a result, many people thought that clothes were made intact. There were people who liked to look up information and shared it with everyone: it’s a very old technique, and there are records of it in literature. It was used on Earth a thousand years ago, but now, nobody uses it.
Tang Wan laughed. He was an ancient man who hadn’t fully integrated into present society. He was a soil dumpling full of dirt. Some habits couldn’t be changed in a lifetime.
Comments followed with praise: Tang Tang really is a versatile person, knows everything!
It should be said that he is a person who really likes Earth’s culture. He had said long ago that his ancestors were from Earth.
Allegedly, Earth used to be beautiful, but unfortunately, it could only be seen in pictures.
……
After Tang Wan finished cutting, he stuck several pieces of cloth together with the fabric glue. He gave it a shake, and the form of the small outfit was created; he dyed the hat too. In order to achieve a 3D effect, he gave the cat the feeling of having a little person stand up. He also made a little pair of hands.
European jacket, overalls, beret, finished!
After allowing it to dry for two minutes, Jin Xiao Pang was brought over. Tang Wan put the clothes on the chubby cat. The audience was delighted at the sight: Too funny!
I seem to be seeing a child pretending to be an adult!
Too cute! Jin Xiao Pang, take two steps!
Quickly! Strut arrogantly!
The authentic catwalk had been lost for thousands of years! Please look!
Please walk out with your emperor’s demeanor!
……
Tang Wan, holding his chin, looked at the chubby cat with a blank face and frowned. “Do you think there’s anything else missing?”
The comments all didn’t know.
Tang Wan picked up the scissors and the red cloth that Da Zhuang had disliked so much. “I think a tie is missing. How can a gentleman not wear a tie?
In order to increase the stiffness of the tie, Tang Wan deliberately glued two same-sized pieces of cloth together to make it thicker. He made the tie with a strip of cloth down the middle and found a small bell in the box and glued it to the center. He put it on Jin Xiao Pang’s neck. Perfect!
After putting the clothes on, Jin Xiao Pang’s chubby, round face became even more apparent. In addition to its silly appearance, the audience was amused: Cute! I want to raise it!
If I had a cat, I would spend all my money on it!
I would give it all my pocket money!
Too cute! What a treasure! Why is it extinct?!
I really want to have one!
……
Jin Xiao Pang looked at the camera with narrowed eyes and stretched out its paws, trying to capture the rolling screen. After two shots, it felt bored, sprawled out on the ground, and didn’t move.
Tang Wan was speechless. This child had begun to become lazy. Sure enough, wealth corrupted people!
Did you think that if you didn’t want to move, your father would passively watch you become fat? What a naive child!
Tang Wan took out a milk candy that cat beastman cubs liked to eat and let Jin Xiao Pang sniff it. Jin Xiao Pang’s eyes instantly went round and were instantly transfixed!
Tang Wan tied the candy to a pole, then pushed the pole into a rotating wheel. Jin Xiao Pang looked straight at the candy, and it helplessly scrambled to chase the pole around the wheel. It wanted to eat! Not enough! It had to follow the pole if it wanted to reach! In the chubby cat’s world, there was only eating! For the sake of eating, it could even give up its legs!
Tang Wan smiled. “This proves one thing: that your daddy is still your daddy.”
The audience wanted to laugh and slam on the table. Watching Jin Xiao Pang move his chubby legs to follow the pole, especially in his clothes, what a happy feeling!
Tang Wan made a bow tie and said, “I think this red color is suitable for Da Zhuang. Da Zhuang is as beautiful as a flower, face-value bursting the meter! Even with just his face, wearing a small skirt wouldn’t be inconsistent with his appearance.”
At this moment, Tang Wan felt that someone was staring at him from the doorway. He looked back to see Zong He in his pajamas. He didn’t know how long he had been standing there. His slightly narrowed golden eyes stared into him, as if he was staring at prey waiting to be slaughtered. Tang Wan’s back went cold, and the fine hairs on his body all stood up. When Zong He was cold-faced, his momentum was really strong! Terribly frightening!
Tang Wan stuck out his tongue and grumbled, “I was joking, I won’t give a skirt for your nephew to wear.”
Zong He had no choice but to say, “Go to bed at 9 o’clock, I’ll wait for you.”
He left after he finished speaking.
Every single word resounded in the broadcasting studio, and the audience blew up: Speak! Who was that man?!
Tang Wan’s forehead pressed against his hands. The Marshal da ren couldn’t have mouthed the words? Don’t reveal your true voice, what if someone recognized it?
The good thing was that Zong He hadn’t been seen in three years. The people of the Empire only knew what he looked like and what he sounded like before the war. Under those circumstances, Zong He spoke with the great dignity of a Marshal, the deadly voice that would inspire excitement in people. It was unlike the soft, helpless voice he had just used to coax Tang Wan. The focus of the audience was on the relationship between this person and Tang Wan, there weren’t any other directions they would go.
Tang Wan looked back and found that Zong He was gone. He calmly replied, “That was my wife.”
Audience: No way!!!
Tang Wan tutted, ah, these people. He told them the truth, but they didn’t believe him.
The comments still had questions: Was that person your brother?
Your father?
Your uncle?
Your home tutor?
Your cousin?
……
Tang Wan didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Their evaluation of the seniority of Zong He’s generation was a bit messy, he was just 29 years old, how could he be that old?
The audience was still wondering: Do you have a partner?
You really have a partner?
No way, your voice sounds very young. If you were matched by the StarNetwork, you can refuse if you feel it is inappropriate.
Yeah, I refused when it matched me to an uncle, I like younger men.
There is a situation where it cannot be refused: if the other party is a soldier. The Empire protected military marriages. If you wanted to call it off, only the military side could refuse.
That can only be a senior officer, a rank of major or above. Ordinary soldiers do not have such privileges you know, don’t talk nonsense!
……
They didn’t even know Tang Wan’s true face, so his partner was even more of a mystery. They all relied on guesses. The most annoying thing was that their guesses were going nowhere, Tang Was was too mysterious.
A person asked: There’s a post on the internet that’s gossiping about what you look like? Tang Tang, did you know?
Tang Wan had pretended to be blind and ignored their comments, but he shook his head when he saw this one: “I really didn’t know.”
The audience didn’t know what to say: What are you doing every day?
Tang Wan solemnly pronounced his Weibo name: ‘Eating, sleeping, and scolding Da Zhuang’.
The comments were silent for a moment. It made sense, they were unexpectedly unable to answer.
At this time, a supreme VIP account suddenly popped up: Asking for a private chat. Five million, for buying your cat!
Tang Wan refused: “Won’t sell. I can shut down my live broadcast, but I won’t sell my cats.”
The comments continued to be awkwardly silent. Five million, Tang Wan had absolutely no interest. Even if he didn’t start a live broadcast he wouldn’t sell, as rigid as usual.
The other party continued to raise the price: Two million more!
Tang Wan glanced at it, then pretended to be blind and ignored it. He was too lazy to listen. There would often be rich or noble people who wanted to buy his fur babies. He had refused many times, but people still came to ask him every now and then.
The others in the audience couldn’t stand it: Don’t ask anymore. Isn’t it good enough to watch the cat broadcasts?
He’s said often that he won’t sell, no matter how much money you offer.
Not necessarily, ‘not selling’ probably means that the amount hasn’t reached what he wants.
Give him a hundred million and see if he sells it or not.
……
Tang Wan sighed. “I’ve said many times that I won’t sell, no matter how much money is offered. The person who said that the amount hadn’t reached what I wanted, your IQ is only good for transplanting rice seedlings.”
The audience was confused: What is ‘transplanting rice seedlings’?
Tang Wan laughed, “Today’s live broadcast is over. How about leaving some homework for you? What exactly does ‘transplanting rice seedlings’ mean? People who know can leave a message on my Weibo. I’ll randomly pick 20 people, and give 10,000 star coins per person.”
This attitude was essentially saying that he wouldn’t miss the millions.
At the end of the live broadcast, whether they were interested in ‘transplanting rice seedlings’ or in the 10,000 star coins, they all went to find out what it meant. Libraries all over the place were all packed, and the network library traffic was also booming. Others posted directly to the internet to find the meaning of ‘transplanting rice seedlings’. As a result, the phrase ‘transplanting rice seedlings’ became popular on the internet. Many people asked for the origins of the phrase. As soon as the live video from Tang Wan’s broadcast was released, Jin Xiao Pang, dressed in clothes, entered people’s line of sight; many people burst into tears at his cuteness.
Tang Wan calculated the reward amount and was satisfied. He turned off the live broadcast and took off Jin Xiao Pang’s clothes. After feeding the child, combing its fur, and playing with it with a cat stick for a while, it was placed back into the system.
At this time, some people on the internet discovered the meaning of ‘transplanting rice seedlings’: it was a kind of brainless manual labor. During the human’s development on Earth, it was a way of growing food that their ancestors had used. Many people in the community didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Tang Wan never used dirty words to hurt people, but everytime malicious people tried to slander him, when he retaliated, they wouldn’t know the meaning of the words. If they wanted to know, they had to pore over books.
Many fans educated their children: See? If you don’t study hard, you won’t even know what other people mean when they scold you!
The phrase ‘Your IQ is only suitable for transplanting rice seedlings’ was cultured, nuanced, and had a history. This mocking phrase was soon quickly spread on the campus network. Especially when the teachers scolded the students, if the qualified people wanted to scold others, they normally couldn’t. So, in the end, they could only hate the fact that iron couldn’t become steel and say: “Your IQ is only suitable for transplanting rice seedlings”!
Before Tang Wan had finished, Zong He came to the door of his studio again and watched him tidy up the messy things on his table. Zong He frowned. “You don’t have to do this, you can find a servant to deal with it.”
Tang Wan laughed. “I don’t have much else to do, I’ll just smoothly do this small job and finish it.”
Zong He’s face was expressionless. “Then do you still want to see?”
“See what?” When Tang Wan finished his question, it suddenly occurred to him that before he broadcasted, Zong He had said that he would show him what his beast form looked like. Then, wasn’t he many times larger than Da Zhuang, a……big cat?!
The Marshal took care of his pajamas. He was ready to take off his clothes, he was tired of waiting.
Tang Wan was stunned. “You be good, what are you doing taking off your clothes?!”
“Nonsense. How can I shift without undressing?” Zong He took off his shirt. They weren’t exaggerated, but the lines of his muscles on his upper body were obvious. “Come, return to our room. I’ll show you.”
Tang Wan glanced at him and covered his face. Embarrassed, he caught up with Zong He. He even had sexy abdominal muscles! Did this body really belong to someone who had been lying down for three years? He was green with envy!
He’s stripping
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)